I am just so afraid of getting hurt again.

Jealousy, the monster rearing its ugly head, irrationally brought to life by the long wait and the scene taken out of context, was she even aware of how I small and stupid I felt, how taken for granted, standing there watching him escort her upstairs, do you want to come in for a drink? I hate it when that green eyed monster takes over, when all the blood seems to have shot up to your head, and your heart pounds and burns, jealousy corrosive and burning and then the only thing you can do is to flee on your bike, your face hot, probably flush and red, that mad rush to Yishun Dam, with the candle stick power-station chimney, lit, a beacon in the night sky and I sit down on the concrete, my legs on the breakwater rocks, I sit and stare at the flickering yellow flame and gradually gain control of my emotions.

So I go back, to talk to her, "He's just a friend, are you crazy?" She always has a way of making me feel ridiculous and dumb. And I don't know what to think and do now.