I guess most of people who actually bother to read this blog must be sick of all the emo-ness these past weeks. This is gonna be a longer than usual post, but i assure you it will be alot less emo.

You might be under the impression that I am the sort fond of making wild proclamations which very often turn out to be nothing more than a five-minute fever, but this time I really do feel I am serious about this. I had turned out into Orchard Road this evening , after trading in the Prison Break discs I had borrowed for Jos for the Indiana Jones trilogy, the road was clear, and suddenly in my head, I could hear the lyrics of this song I first heard in secondary school, " I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life."  

A semi-charmed kind of life, shorn of any long term goals, living each day at a time, taking things as they come, improvising, making it up as they come along, "lets worry about tomorrow tomorrow". No longer, something's changed, it's like a switch's been flicked on inside me, a realization that this present lifestyle is untenable. The past week, I have been watching Trainspotting, Danny Boyle's cult classic over and over again, and this feels like it, the moment Renton decides he has had enough of his old life of drugs and crime, packs up and moves on up to London. "I am cleaning up and I am moving on, going straight and choosing life, the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine-to-five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die."

I wished I had brought my camera along with me, because I think I have found my dream house, up on Emerald Hill, take the picture, laminate it and stick it in my wallet, something for me to work towards, a long term goal finally, and there will be more of these to come. This goal, I don't know if I will be able to fulfil, but it is something for me to work towards.