Yesterday evening, I got a call from Yasa. He asked me to help him do a search on the internet about Lymphona. So I googled it and when I readed the words 'Chemotherapy', 'Radiation therapy', I knew it was serious. Called him back and he told me the doctor said it may be Cancer. And he is only 25. I pray to God or whatever higher power out there that it does not happen. I tried to get back to my books, but I couldn't anymore. So I drove down to SGH to look on him and there was something missing from a room which in the days before, was filled with laughter. We went into the usual routine of cards (Big 2) but I was never in the game. And then Simian had to leave and I then I decided I didn't want to study anymore, so I rushed down to the CAGE at Kallang, running a red light in the process(but no lightning) for soccer with Dongting and his colleagues from Barclays Bank. Managed to score a few goals and sweat it out.I immediately felt more awake and less depressed.

And there's one person I kinda miss and want to see, but her whereabouts are a secret.

One hour of Japanese Revision and I am feeling drained. My ipod on shuffle mode comes to Jay Chou's tui hou and I am reminded of the MTV with the very lovely Hebe and some funny acting by Jay.


I have sent the ball over the net. Will it come back?

Pure Brilliance. If only Man U had signed him.

We often meet people who have come back from studying overseas who complain about how Singapore is boring, small and sterile in comparison. They just don't know where to look, because it is all about the moments and not the places. You can find magic in the HDB heartland. It has nothing to do with the buildings or the architecture. You won't find castles in Singapore, but there are people, things and sights here you won't get in London, Sydney, Los Angeles.

Visited Yasa yesterday in SGH. Because they have a shortage of rooms, he is housed in Blk 11, the isolation block built for the SARs patients, Ward 11 Room 11, and he has the room all to himself with built in toilet and TV, just like a hotel room, so it was quite amusing, he was munching on the Mushroom Swiss Meal I bought while Simian and I took turns flipping through the FHM which I also provided. And then behind the ward, where I watched them blowing smoke rings as we chatted.

Weaving through flashing brakelights at Geylang and then through the deserted CBD at midnight, rushing to beat a bedtime; the chilly freshness from speed and then praying against insomniac mothers. These are some special moments.

Was chatting with Wanxin over msn, about the arts canteen, when i started to imagine Terry coming back.

mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
u know the last fri last week
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
terry came back
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
had a last smoke
♥ wan™ ♥: says:
foo?
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
at the area
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
yup who else

♥ wan™ ♥: says:
hahahh
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
he used to call home
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
then he walked abt
♥ wan™ ♥: says:
he still haven't quit
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
as the stall keepers packed up
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
run his hands over the acrylic tables for a last time
♥ wan™ ♥: says:
aiyo...... i don't think i wanna be there......
♥ wan™ ♥: says:
i want to remember it for how it was
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
ordered one last cup of coffee
♥ wan™ ♥: says:
i have pics of the arts canteen leh
♥ wan™ ♥: says:
haa
mr Brightside: we can make it if we take it slow says:
flicked off the last embers of the dying cigarette

It really is quite sad. But change is inevitable in life.

The hazy season gives way to the rainy season, and the Arts Canteen that I know of is no more. This song has been playing on my ipod all day - The Killers. When You Were Young.

"They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet. You don't have to drink it right now, but you can dip your feet, every once in the little while...."

Drab Wednesday studying in school today, with weather to match. The highlight was a magic show by Jun who besides being an econs honours student, is also part time magician. He wowed everyone in the room by doing this trick.




Cool stuff.

Watched the Prestige with Martha and Olivia at Yishun. Great movie from the same director as Memento(although not as good.) Thought the first part was a little slow but the story picked up in the middle and Scarlett Johansson is just gorgeous!!!

11:52 pm. The last Bus 13 from Bishan MRT. Hotel Roosevelt playing on the ipod. The bus passes by places from a year ago, and I feel a tiny bit of longing, a slight tinge of loss, regret, helplessness.

Lisa burned me a copy of Prison Break Season 2 Episodes 1-10! I am so excited. Can't wait to get home and put it on. :)

The ground still wet after the rain,happily wandering, we climbed up a hill which turned out to be merely an 'Upslope.' But the view was good above the shophouses surrounded by shiny colourful buildings which lit up the night sky as bats flitted around us playfully.And then we chanced upon the fountain in the middle of a deserted China Square which got me all soaked. On to Raffles Place, where we pushed dustbins with bodies sticking out around as we waited for trains to arrive.

6:15pm Ghim Moh

I am sitting on one of those white benches outside the cc. Fifteen mins early but everyone will be late and I feel down in the dumps, ready to sink, without any idea why. Ok maybe I do, but it shouldn't be this low. I need some answers. It can't be all that fucked up.


11:25pm
Been thinking and talking to Wynne, dear dear Wynne and I think I have got it figured out. I really do treasure the friendship, but I can't guarantee nothing will happen. Please don't go away from me. I do believe that there is a way. Mr Brightside will not sink.

So many thoughts can run through your mind in a short time. The speedometer is not working, but do we really need to know how fast we are going? I miss the exit, the phone rings, I'll be late. And then more thoughts. What if I have already missed the exit?

The road is empty. Freezing, I crouch lower and fight the cold by going even faster.

Pack up all the things that you don't deserve
Take another swing, Here comes a curve ball
I bet you can't hit it cos you'll swing to soon

She says, Maybe it's over
He says there's plenty more fish in the sea
I say, Don't go away
Don't go away
Please don't go away from me

Take those damn pictures off that shelf
Put away your mommy you don't need her
I found you a new one she'll be here soon

And She says my God it's over
He says I found another fish in the sea
I say why me?
Why me?
Why me?
Why is it me?

Our little reunion at Chomp Chomp. I realise the pic is kinda MCP, if u know what I mean.

长长的路上我想我们是朋友
如果有期待我想最好是不说
你总是微笑的你总是不开口
世界被你掌握
月亮绕地球地球绕着太阳走
我以为世界是座宁静的宇宙
今晚的天空有一颗流星划过
在预言着什麽

你心中一定有座浓雾的湖泊
任凭月光再皎洁照也照不透
你眼中闪烁湖面无边的温柔
那波光在诱惑
在无声之中你拉起了我的手
我怎麽感觉整个黑夜在震动
耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏
星星在闪烁
你会怎麽说



On a sidenote, Yasa's back. They are off playing billiards while I elected to come home to study. Billiard's not my thing anyway.

I think it's pretty amazing how, not having seen each other for months and years even, we meet up and are immediately comfortable with each other. Rongjie hasn't seen Simian in like what, 3 years,?Rachel too. And I realise and I think maybe they realise it too, I am kind of like the glue which binds them all together, all of us childhood friends. It was kinda like that too growing up. I knew Simian from school, best friends in Pri 6; Rongjie from around the neighbourhood,soccer at Kong Hwa; Rachel from Rollerblading and then everyone got to know each other. There were other people too, Abel, Botak, Burong, Mos etc etc.

We are all grown up now. Rachel even has a baby boy! Serangoon Gardens on Sunday was sweet. Tonight it was a warm feeling, catching up on each other's lives. Then Rachel had to leave to tuck her baby into bed and then David came, all buff, a gym instructor at California Fitness, and it was the Phuket group all over again. Rongjie, Meredith,David, Simian, me.

Rongjie is going back to Bangkok tomorrow night in exchange for Yasa whos coming back from Aussie.
I hope we stay friends forever.

When I started this blog, I wrote about how good Jason Mraz was. A year of ups and downs and a heart-break later my opinion of him is unchanged.

Excerpt from Song for A Friend ~ Jason Mraz

you shouldn't mumble when you speak
but keep your tongue up in your cheek
and if you stumble on to something better.
you better remember that it's humble that you seek
you got all the skill you need,
individuality
you got something
call it gumption
call it anything you want
because when you play the fool now
you're only fooling everyone else
you're learning to love yourself


What a waste of a lovely day to be studying :S

Compliments aren't that big a deal, but they do make you happier. Glasses clicking, the band is playing. High from the liquor and music I sit back and think, "This is it. This is what being young is all about. We fall and pick ourselves up. It's that simple." And I can't contain my feelings. I want to call someone to share my happiness.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Ember fades to red, slows the flow and I weave my way between the taxis, the trucks, the cars to the front of the queue at the junction before Holland V where the big rain tree sits. It's a bright sunny day,the images are clear, I feel light at heart, and for a moment I cannot believe I am actually the rider of my bike waiting for the lights to turn.


They have just had dinner at an Indian restaurant, it is Saturday night. Tomorrow is Sunday, so the night is still young, and they are free. They go up 30 storeys to look at things from a different angle. Sheares bridge is across at the other end, a thin line with moving illuminated specks. They don't know it, but they are actually looking at themselves, standing on Sheares bridge, looking back at them.

She thinks it is so peaceful without the bumboats on the water. He thinks, if everyone in this city of blinding lights flicks off the switch together in the same moment, maybe they could see the stars in the sky.

Nothing in the Foo family is done quietly. Sleeping on a mattress in the hall, I was awakened abruptly by loud voices. Their last day in Singapore is not a good reason for them to talk amicably.Then it was decided that we should have some photo taking, and I wasn't allowed to change out of what I was sleeping in because they didn't want to wait.







Some other pictures -> Uncle See Suan snoring in my bed and My parents in China.

A magical saturday of discovery- of swamp monsters, a sorceress's tower, soft mud, full moon over the UFO landing field,poor steering,lying on the roof of the car, suicidal frogs, the park of cats to milkshakes at 2.am at West Coast.

Prison break is extremely gripping, and now I have got dark rings around my eyes. I couldn't stop. 4 episodes in a row took me to 0430am Saturday. And When I woke at 1030, it was 3 mores episodes and they have yet to break out yet!! Self-restraint kicked in and I realise I should really be getting down to school to do my paper.

I've had and I've been.
Here in center frame, there's only air.
Just enough space to fit.
I said it out loud over and over but what do I know.
I said it out loud but it did not help.
I'll stop now.


How's your saturday been, Susan?

Was I worried? I guess I was.