Handed in my resignation letter today. I will see my classes out till the end of the year. Exciting times. Beating heart. The truth is, I'd feel a lot more reassured if you were still with me. But I know I probably wouldn't have dared to do it if we had gotten married. Bryan said something about sacrifice today, when you give up something you love. I wonder if that was it.

Straw that broke the camel's back.

I have my resignation letter typed out and waiting to be printed on Monday. If not now when? Maybe I will fail as a full time photographer. But at least I will have tried.

Obsession

Every time I return the story changes, because every time I return, the feeling changes.( This time, more eerie. I remember what Mr Manaran said - "They have moved into the upper floors.") 

 May 6th is the deadline for my story. I don't think that is enough time  to complete the story or if I put it out, it won't feel complete. I have probably spent more time than they are paying me. 

I feel this need to keep going back, call it curiosity, passion, or even obsession, perhaps it's the story calling out to me, but I know I have to keep going back until I find it, until I feel like it is complete.

Drove past Regentville today on the way to school after Teachers' Estate to get the last photos for the assignment. Overload of feelings. I can still feel you. But I can't continue to kid myself.  I am really all lost at sea.

Song 1

如果我真心爱你

该有快乐结局

怪我不懂珍惜

把你推向他

我来不及 改编结局

这是我自导自演的悲剧

Five.

We were Young & Dangerous once.

快阻止 時間倒轉 當我們 再次遇見
怎樣的表情 最適合隱瞞 我依然 愛你很深
別再多看我一眼 別試探我 真的感覺
我怕 忍不住 又回頭眷戀 你連背影都溫柔
不愛 就轉身離開 一個人 把回憶推翻
不愛 否定了未來 你恨我 別心軟 我也不為難

My Songkran Festival Photos for InSing.com

Thais in S’pore welcome new year with a splash

Boston

Woke up to terrible news from Boston. Truly, there are monsters in this world.

Hanson 2013

http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/videos/hanson-mmmbop-2012/

Should have heeded the lyrics of this song.

Miu Miu has been in hospital the whole week. It's just not the same without the little rascal around at home.

Heartbreaking.

I will always remember the feeling of your callused hands grasping mine during Chinese New Year visits. CNY won't be the same from now on.

Lapse

Met Nerine for drinks this evening at Blujazz. She showed me photos of you on facebook at a wedding. You were smiling happily and it made me glad. At the same time it made me really sad because I remember when I used to make you this happy.

Forget the ghosts that make you old before your time/ it's too easy to get left behind

Forget the ghosts that make you old before your time/ it's too easy to get left behind.... sings Keane.

Easier said than done, as I drive back home along Newton Road at night after dropping Wei Leng off. The heartache intensifies as I stop at the junction at Novena, in front of Velocity, remembering Yami Yoghurt and Donut Factory. I never visit those places now.

You think you’ve done your journey
Then you stumble and burn but there’s such a long way to go.

It struck me today, that funerals are as much places of reunions as they are places to say goodbye.