Tuesday thoughts.

If I want you back. Can it ever be the same again?

未来的那个你是否比现在这个我更喜欢那个自己

小时后梦得不切实际 
长大后却要学着实际
我们讨厌那样的自己 
无奈却无能为力
应该 厚着脸皮 活在他们期许 
还是 硬着头皮 做我自己

Sometimes you meet people who stretch your patience to its limits. I have been able to help a few 'wayward' students in the last 3 years because they were essentially just misunderstood, maligned individuals which I could understand and empathize with.  The one I have met this year, I just don't think I will ever understand or empathize with, so it's easier to smile and be nice.

Waiting.

I am just so scared I will hurt someone again.

And so I wait, by the coastline,  for the resolution to my troubled heart.

music blog

When I started this blog, I envisioned it to be a sort of music diary, but it somehow evolved into, well, a regular blog.

This one got me jumping around in the living room, my cat joined in. So at least I know I am not depressed.

Look what you have's done.

You've made a fool of us all.

退後

Kong Hwa

那童年的希望是一台时光机

我可以一路开心到底都不换气

Be sure.

"Sometimes I wonder if I married the right person." She said, with a tinge of resignation. I guess that is why I want to be absolutely sure and perhaps why I baulked under pressure last year.

Wear.

I have been feeling so weary lately. Not in a physical way but emotionally. I find myself missing different people at different times, at different places. At other times I feel numb. And just for a moment just now driving home, I felt like I was going to burst out in tears.

A fortress by the beach. A fortress around my heart.

Regret.

There are some things I will never forget, and perhaps some things I will always regret.

Another Saturday.

Another saturday of assignments for ST to distract from inner upheaval. How I found the energy to have supper with Wei Leng last night is a mystery, but I sank into bed almost immediately after I got home last night, grateful for sleep's embrace.

Empty

Running on empty. But this is also life.

Not good.

Feeling really sick today. I wonder if it's the side effects from the wisdom teeth removal or the side effects from all the medications I have been taking.

Bridges

Burnt all bridges. Carefully selected words. If she is angry, if she hates me, then there will be no going back. But why does my heart feel so bad?

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.