"Have you wasted all your life? Were you taken for a ride? Do you need some consolation? In a world unequal, there's no need to cry. You are on your own, the silence swirls and swallows you whole.....you can't live another life, hang your feelings out to dry, so let the world fall all around you, stand your ground, there's no need to hide. You are on your own..."

Hush by Concave Scream: Late night @ Esplanade - They were F***king GOOD!!

Concave Scream played out a night of nostalgia at the esplanade, Sean's haunting vocals, coupled with the formidable esplanade sound system, touched everyone of us in the recital studio. All the songs which accompanied us growing up, songs we identified with amidst all our growing pains. Thank you guys for staying together, for bringing back those memories, and reaffirming for us, those moments, they did happen. They kept apologizing for the sappy songs, but for most of us, we were there for the sappy songs....the sad strings of the violin of Futile, a song they first played in their JC auditorium. Pann's kids were in the audience, thats how long ago that was. A great deal of their songs deal with memories and recollections, laments against the inevitable passage of time and the resultant erosion of feelings.

Fade

Wait, please don't hang up now, It's been quite a while,
I'd really like to know of all the things that I've been missing.

Time is always slipping by. The years how they passed.
The photographs are faded, but my memories still clear.

Of the walk in the park, the late night shows,
the long goodnights.

And I wish that time stood still, So we could be forever true.
But time won't slow.

Been trying to forget the past. Close the chapter of my life.
But I still hear the voices and the promises we made.

As we walked in the park, the late night shows.
As we said goodbye.

I wish that time stood still, So we could be forever true.
But time won't slow. No, time won't slow

---------------
Staff lunch today at Marina Mandarin, Prof Shih flew back from Australia just in time to give us a treat.Restorante Bologna or something like that The food wasn't fantastic but I liked the ambience in the restaurant and the inside of the Mandarin hotel is just majestic, it reminds me of Zion in the Matrix movie(very nice!). I like the organic feel of architecture. The main course was very disappointing, I have had better pasta at Pastamania(and that's not saying alot) but the cakes were pretty good, I had 2 slices of strawberry shortcake, a chocolate tart cake and a whole tray full of the assorted mini cakes. So filled and sleepy now...and work has just piled up, an hour before the weekend. I'll probably have to come back to work tomorrow.

Today is like the day of meeting Ophir people(good memories). I met Ah Mu this morning outside YIH as I was buying breakfast, and then just awhile ago whilst waiting for the bus at the YIH bus-stop I met Sachini!(She wasn't with Vinjani though) Ha...She asked me whether I remembered her name and I said how could I forget after all the torture I was subject to by a certain Silly Susan. That was one crazy bus ride...unforgettable.

I should be getting back to work now. *Yawn.

Just received an sms, Katong training TODAY IS CANCELLED. sigh I was so looking forward to sweating it out after a sedentary week. I guess that will mean I am now free to have dinner at Everest with Wynne and co, but somehow I ain't really looking forward to that. My plan was to go for training and then pop by for 15 mins towards the end of the dinner before going home to smile and chit chat with relatives from USA. I so need the exercise for endorphins release. The good thing is tomorrow's Friday and Concave Scream, esplanade recital studio. Maybe I'll go for a run myself tonight.

Someone said recently, "You like being lost don't you?" I guess it would be more accurate to say, I don't mind being lost, because if you look at it, being lost is an adventure, with surprising possibilities and sights you don't normally get to see. Life is nothing without a little chaos to make it interesting.

I need to get past this numbness.(so I can feel and fall in love again?)

This is brilliant! Cute and very sad at the same time. The quixotic kiwi.

Newsflash:

March 26th, 2007
Welcome to our world…little baby Stone

He’s two weeks early, but Stone and Gougou’s son arrived on the afternoon of March 26, and weighed in at 6.87 pounds. He’s healthy, and Mom and Dad are proud and delighted. Gougou felt some unusual pangs in the morning, so they packed up a bag and went to the hospital to check it out. On arrival, they learned she was in labor, and a mere three hours (and a totally natural birth) later, “Little Stone” was born.
Every bit the proud papa, Stone recorded the entire birth, and when he heard his son’s first cries, rushed over so that he would be the first thing his boy saw. Upon hearing him cry, Stone joked, “Is is so inconvenient? Your mom had it much worse, much more inconvenient than you!” Hugging his son for the first time, the tender-hearted rock guitarist couldn’t help but shed a few tears.
They sent a message to the rest of the band, currently in Qingdao (they’ll remain in China until April 1), who celebrated from a distance. Fish Leong (of the same record company) also received the news, and she exclaimed, “Oh my god! I had a weird feeling last night it might be today! Congratulations, Stone!” (Wow, and you can tell it’s something big, the report doesn’t even follow that up with a single crack about Masa!) (I, however, clearly could not resist.)
Best wishes to Stone, Gougou and Small Fry!

I have just had a really vivid sad dream. I wake up sobbing. In it I live in the future or something, a robotech-age Singapore, and the atmosphere's one of after a war or something, generally everyone is relieved at some major world event finally being over, it could be a war, or maybe mankind could have finally defeated global warming or something, I dunno isn't really clear, doesn't really matter. In the dream, I am living at Geylang East where Mos stays now, except in a shophouse or something and its National Day, everyone is excited to see the mecha drive past, the tanks, airplane, President Nathan's drive past, but I am frantic, because Candy, my dog has gone missing. So somehow, time is all compressed or jumbled up in a dream and alot of travellers(the post-war feel) and stray dogs are travelling across the area so everyday I put out a dish of dog-food and hope for Candy to come home, but she never does. Then the roads are closed for the mecha drive past, but I am still waiting for Candy and the dog food I put out has fed many a travelling stray and somehow I can talk to dogs in the dream and none of them has seen Candy and then being a dream, it cuts to me hearing a conversation between my mum and a neighbour as the fire engines scream pass. "Your dog, very smart and obedient, where is it?"

My mum replies, "Missing already la. Very old already. Maybe she doesn't want us to see her old and sick, so she has gone away." A wave of sadness fills my heart. I started crying, remembering that Candy passed away last year.

I miss my dog.

I was waiting for the shuttle bus at Kent Vale today when I sort of overheard (well ok I was eavesdropping maybe) a conversation between 2 Business professors, one from USA and the other PRC.
"How do you find Singapore so far?" "It's great, I really like it" "The way they do things over here, really efficient." "Over the weekend, I was at the library, at Jurong East." "Oh the community library." "Yeah, I went there in the morning and there were people queuing up to get in, its pretty amazing, you will never get that in the States. And it's modern, new, very well laid-out, good collection of books."

Sometimes, I feel so proud to be a Singaporean. :) Whatever gripes I have about the government, I will be the first to admit, they are a very good government, probably the best in the World.

Today Once More

Years ago, where that old Bedok road suddenly
Swung inland, I felt you breathe. Benedicting
Sunlight by the pillbox lit a quiet in which I heard
My heart’s first cry. It grew into a circling eagle,
Whose thermal eye kept free our dome of blue.
Far below the tide rippled, turned and gripped,
Removing sand from under where I stood. You
Held me citizen as I grew, wondering in awe,
What made darkness come at noon, or why sea-salt
Bitterness, and the wind’s lamentations, can cleanse.

From there a tale of colony, war and occupation;
From here a past we made from careful politics
For better history, and bright embraceable evenings.

Hunting for a future leaves memories and images
Of crucial moments: gritty challenges which, for some,
Are high despair and doubt; a time to think of leaving.
Stay and be damm’d, or prosper in our fashion.
We re-arranged ourselves, besieged our hills, re-made
The contexts of our lives as we gardened city and island.
Now petal, shade, octaves in the night, and young faces,
Shift the mood and margins of our hopes, our seasons.
Side by side, old and young split Merlion thoughts, giving
Reasons, while savouring those two durians-on-the-bay.

Each generation has its songs and destinations that assert
A different destiny. Theirs more digital; keyboard-bound.
I learn, adapt; process words to stalk and refresh nostalgia.

Today, no smoke from burning half-dried wood to smudge
Our skyline’s signature. Eyes tearful, not from fumes,
But the death of friends. Gopal and James now live in
That ever present past. So does Lim Boh Seng. I cross
The Padang as banzais echo again, rolling down city steps
As Coleman’s demolished home haunts the new with gusto.
I taste the stalls in Hock Lam Street, feeling the chillies rise
As Ah Lau cuts his fruits. Foodcourts are less friendly.
Regret? Yes and no. All is still here, as I pass the latest Bedok,
Knowing epiphany, tide, and crab are still a mile away.

Edwin Thumboo

---------------------

In a bid to beat the Monday Blues, we head out of school for lunch. And I must say Josephine looked really pretty today in green! But I think I look bad with my new haircut.

Isn't she pretty in green?

Sucky untidy haircut:S

We were talking about stone lions and how having a pair of them outside your house will bring Good Fengshui, when we saw this!

I like this photo, taken during dinner at my fave indian restaurant be4 we went for the dance concert. Although its blurred and grainy, somehow it conveys a feeling of the exotic, a moment trapped in time.

Another Mayday MTV. This has got to be one of their best mtvs. (Either its really a very amusing mtv, or I am just too in love with them! Check out the last 30 secs of the song with the 5 best friends together, so goofy and heartwarming, it just makes me feel happy :) I am really looking forward to the concert in June! If you look closely, you will realise Ah Shin is wearing exactly the same outfit in the MTV as he did at the mini concert at IMM. Friday afternoon after lunch, I am feeling so sleepy. Only 5 hrs last night. Went for the screening of this really good French movie - Le Grand Voyage. about a religious old fashioned Morroccan father on a pilgrimage to Mecca with his modern young son who has grown up in France and cannot understand the strict religiosity of his father. They drive through 3000 miles of Europe, from France through Italy, to Slovenia, Croatia, Turkey, Syria and finally to Mecca in Saudi Arabia. Along the way, as they get stuck in a snow storm, their money get stolen, father and son constantly feud with one another but at the end, the initially-icy father-and-son relationship starts to thaw as both gradually come to know and treasure each other. We missed the first 10 mins of the movie because we went for ice cream at the Daily Scoop, so I came away from the movie with an 'incomplete' feeling. It's really an excellent movie. (I was worried that Josephine wouldn't like it, but she thought it was great too.) We went to feed Gordon and Sparco after the movie. Patting the big boy on the head never fails to make me feel warm and happy inside. And then to Macs. I think we found the best Macdonald's in Singapore.

I got my concert tickets!!! Josephine says I am $130 poorer. I told her I feel like I am $130 richer. See you on June 2nd!

Oh ya, enjoy the MV.

I finally got the pictures from the Mayday gig. I got to shake hands with all of them!! Went down to Sistic at junction 8 after the friendly today, I was disappointed with my own performance, it seems NFL division One might be too high a level for me, it's frustrating, I know I have the skills, its just the pace of the game, you need to be really quick to decide your next move, to know where your teammates are before you are closed down, and the physical nature of the game at this level, my loose shoulder isn't helping, I started out ok but after my shoulder popped out and back in as, a sort of fear took over, and then with each mistake, my confidence dropped. There are only two choices now, either I decide I am not good enough, give up and stick to social soccer where I can be a big player and make things happen, or I stick at it and see if I can climb up the steep learning curve, right now I am tempted to take the 1st option.
Sistic closes at 8pm. I only got there at 8:20pm, so I wasn't able to get my ticket. The $148 ones are sold out! I better hurry, before the $128 ones are gone also.

I think Ashin is just so cool. Don't you think so too?

On the recommendation of Ridge magazine, we visited Botak Jones for dinner. We were amazed by the large number of staff at the stall, which must say something about the business. Surprisingly there wasn't a queue so we were able to get our food quickly - fish and chips and the giant beef hot dog, which turned out to be not that big except that the plate was overflowing with onions and fries. It was a filling meal and we left with a huge portion of fries still uneaten. That was when the adventure really began as we got lost trying to get to Yishun from Ang Mo Kio, and ended up somewhere in Sembawang, and then to Yishun dam where we got out for Josephine to practise photo-taking, but the bigger flash from the lightning was a signal for us to hurry back into the car. Then we decided the rookie driver needed some practice. So we switched seats and as soon as that happened, as if on cue, the skies opened up and the rain began falling noisily, building up to such ferocity that the rookie driver began to feel unsure of herself, it was as if we were driving blind, the car was swaying in and out of the lane. Prudently we decided I'd better take over, so we pulled over at the side of the road to switch. It was the heaviest rain I have ever driven in. It was like being in a submarine underwater. I hope it doesn't flood.

Finally hitting the airwaves in Singapore, Dashboard Confessional's Stolen - 2nd most played song on my ipod. A different version though from the one on their Dusk and Summer Album. This one to a faster beat, which I kinda prefer. It's really such a great song, with an equally stunning Beach House MTV.

I am just so sunburnt now and I can't understand why. I applied sunblock before we head out to sea. And it wasn't even that sunny a day, although the sand did get hot enough to leave me with blisters. The wind today was what they call a "formula wind" whatever that means, and the sea was really choppy and we started drifting rightwards away from the sailing centre towards Changi immediately and with the wind direction, there was no way I could have turned back. Fortunately, the rescue boat came out to get me before I got too far away, and on the way back I got my very nice rescuer to pick up Josephine too. She thought she lost her ring which was given to her by her mummy - lost in the murky waters, but miraculously we recovered it at the end of the session. It had fallen off, but into the crevice of the surfboard. She's really quite goofy once you know her better. If you are ever in need for some excitement, sit beside her while she drives.

I want the mayday pics!


I think my brother is getting more and more out of touch with reality. Over dinner, the discussion topic was about Qiqin and how she's becoming really rude to her parents and her brother, and my brother's theory was, "The crux of the problem is Sin, and the answer is prayer, we need to pray to God, only God in his infinite power can help us overcome Sin." And I went into the room to roll my eyes.

As a boy of five, looking through my mum's picture albums from her time in England at nursing school, I imagined that one day I would live in a street house like the one above, only to grow up and realise I was living in another country. The concert's on June 2nd!! Who wants to go with me?!!

I stare out through the glass panes at the world a haze of gray, the low rumble of thunder punctuating the silence of the vista. The intensity of rain builds up steadily, until nothing can be made out anymore. And the train of thought that I had been hiding from, hoping to avoid, for a few days now, hits. And I wonder if it is only me or does everybody feel like this once every little while; feel this lost, feel like you hate everything even. No I don't think that describes it. I don't hate anything, rather it's i guess,....Numbness.

I think they sound better live. On Our Way To Fall, which was the song which stood out for me. It's just so sweet, dreamy and moby-esque, the 2nd song of the evening. And what struck me was how talented the band is. You won't find anything close to them in Singapore, (well maybe Observatory but they are different). One moment they can sound like Muse, the other the Smashing Pumpkins, and they can do the light breezy, easy listening songs just as well. I must say it was the lighter more melodic songs which I really enjoyed. Their heavier songs, especially the 3rd one for the evening I didn't really get, what I remember of it was what sounded like bullfrogs croaking rythmically above the chaotic wall of electronic sound.

The veteran indie-rock group from New Jersey juggles rock and melodic pop with equal ease, thanks to its multi-faceted style that includes folk, punk-rock, garage, electro and pop. Indeed. Everything nicely done.


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This is one amazing video which just excites me, amuses me and makes me envious all at the same time. There are so many places on this earth that I want to visit. Life should be an adventure, a kaleidoscope of experiences, a celebration of the diversity of cultures and a pilgrimage to the most beautiful places on this planet. 5 more mins before I knock off and head down to the Esplanade for Yo La Tengo.

Set off early this morning for Sungei Buloh on my bike for a guided tour as part of my orientation to becoming a volunteer guide. Traffic was light so it was very enjoyable cruise. My guide for today was Iris, who's a 4th year medicine student at NUS, and true to her vocation, her memory is just impeccable, rattling off all the facts of all the plants and insects that we encountered. While the other trainee took notes, I went photo happy, putting the macro mode of my camera to good use.
I found out that the tensile strength of the golden bulb spider's web is stronger than that of steel. Some biotech firms are looking at methods for making use of the spider's genes to replicate the web for use in bullet proof vests! Oh and if you crush the leaves of the mangrove tree, it emits a poisonous white sap which will blind you if it gets into your eyes!! We spent about an hour and a half walking through the mangrove boardwalk and Iris is just so knowledgeable. I learnt so many interesting facts! After the tour, we went to look at the artists painting pictures to be displayed in the new toilet, under the supervision of this famous artist who gives free painting classes every last sunday of the month and he invited me to try my hand at painting one too! So I roped in Iris and one of the other volunteer for a joint project, and you can see our masterpiece below! I think its pretty good for my first attempt at acrylic painting and I hope it'll be good enough for display in the Gents. You can see my initials at the bottom right corner of the canvas. Ha! What do you think?

This is one of those timeless classics. For some of the people who grew up rollerblading with me, you will have fond memories of this one. I was driving back home from the IT fair, along the Kallang area where there used to be this huge gas tank by the river, and through the car hi-fi, these achingly beautiful lyrics drifted out. "Lay a whisper on my pillow, leave the winter on the ground..." And my eyes glazed over, and I saw Rachel kneeling over the hi-fi at my place and slotting in the CD, Roxette's "Tourism", we were 12 or was it 13, she had a short bob of hair, but she was already lovely.

And we were a gang, 9-10 of us, round and round we would go, around the curving oval of blocks, and then Simian fell and cracked his teeth on the ground.

Womad 2006, we had such a blast. Next Monday Indie evening with Yo La Tengo at the Esplanade, I am looking forward to that. I had almost forgotten about it, with our tickets bought in January, but was reminded at our Friday chill, KR50. Our Poison? Lulu and Gwen had a pint of Hoegaarden each to go with donuts, while I went Filipino with San Miguel, Happy Hour NUS prices.

Monday 730pm at the Esplanade.

I think this MTV shows exactly why so many people, me included, absolutely adore 五月天. They play good music, have got attitude and spunk, and yet retain their "heart". No sex and drugs for them, they are the most healthy rock band and somehow they are more like our friends.

Indie music fans will be glad to know that the Arcade Fire's sophomore album Neon Bible is out. I quote from Artist Direct's review, "Neon Bible is a bleak, solemn record full of songs about luckless individuals caught between capitalism and faith, desperately praying for deliverance from poverty and its attendant miseries." Now if only payday will hurry up and come. (It's only a week away!) Then I might give a first-hand review of the album and perhaps get myself another graniph T-shirt. Yes crass consumerism I know. But it's my first paycheck.

This one:


Or maybe this:

On a random note, I am absolutely fascinated by the dialogue in Closer.

Larry: [on a photography exhibit] What do you think?
Alice: It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie.

I watched History Boys last night with Davidof at VivoCity, (We wanted to watch Protege but it was sold out, are you reading this Martha, or Olivia, lets watch it next week and ask Audrey for me!) it wasn't what I expected it to be from the impression the trailers gave.
It was thickly accented and.... arty which might be a euphemism for boring. And it was full of gays.

I needed more juice, which I wasn't getting in the office, trying to say the same things but in different words, so I packed on down to the Central Lib and it's sad you know, having to pretend that you did not see her. In the lyrics of the song, "He smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through.... she goes left and you stay right..." Polite. That's a cold word.

But I still owe her a treat for payday and I always try to keep to my promises.

Tuesday night, Hockey at Tampines. Seeing how everyone was decked out in riot-gear, I spent more time watching than actually playing. Hockey is a rough and tumble game, especially with everyone all armour plated, I didn't want to risk my shoulder when I didn't have the necessary protective equipment. I'll wait till I am better equiped (i.e after payday)

Earthquake, 6.6 on the richter scale rocked Sumatra this afternoon, sending tremors across Singapore, which we felt from University Hall. KenC's office was evacuated and he got to go home early! Just 2 days ago, I was writing a piece about the Tsunami and this had to happen. How lucky we are to be living in Singapore.

The longest bus ride home, which was made more bearable by my ipod. How To Save A Life by the Fray, which got me thinking.



"Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along, in the bitterness."

Tuesday morning at work. Jittery markets all over Asia. Shanghai Composite Index down 46 points, STI down 96 points, the Nikkei down 575, the Hang Seng 777. They've got nothing to do with me anyway haa. So courtesy of Abel, here's Mr Blue Sky, love the orchestra ending.

"Mr Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long, where did we go wrong?" For a moment, it sounded like mr Brightside.

Last night over msn, was having a good chat with Wanxin and she wanted to evaluate, so we did a bit, and then I said "I am quite sad that its going the way it did with winnie" and she said "maybe it's for the best, it's easier on your heart this way." But then you can't compare her with Winnie.

Nerine called me at work today, to tell me about something funny in this photo. Take a look.

- - -
The guard told me I looked very smart today. But I felt frumpy and restricted. I can't imagine this is the sort of "uniform" I'll have to wear for the rest of my working life. I am a t-shirt and berms/jeans guy.
- - -
Slalomed through the rush hour traffice to get to FAS for the NFL appointment referee's meeting.I wish Murthi would just cut all the meaningless crap and just hand us the appointment list. 2 hours of long-windedness. But it ended off with a speech by Shamsul Maidin, Singapore's referee at the 2006 World Cup and I was just that little bit inspired even if I am kinda in Murthi's bad books.
- - -
Rushed back home to get changed for soccer at the Cage, but wasn't in the mood, ended up sitting outside and talking to people about work-life in Barclay's Bank. Sounds like something I wouldn't like doing. Monotonous routine, 10 hr work day, even if the pay's very good. I think I like my job better. Like I was telling Josephine today over lunch, working in a bank's not as glamorous as it's made out to be. But I guess I can only say for sure after I have tried it myself.


Can't believe Nathan is Claire's real father!

Today, we visited a Haunted House.

Up on a hill. It was really quite lovely, oozing with history.

I wanted to go inside to take a look, but the 2 meek little cats weren't so keen. So we went for ice cream instead. Nutella ice-cream, that was delicious.

I wanted to head to the office, but the girls said it was a saturday! why be so silly? , so more driving around, and we chanced upon a pair of french-kissing parrots!!

Be a little bit more adventurous, you will discover a side of Singapore you never knew existed.

Happy 21st Birthday Kaori. 2 days early, we had dinner at Shashlik, that timeless place.

Suede has always been that great band I never liked. I would listen to their songs, some very good songs, but I would never rank them as one of my favorites. But what a voice !!!

Brett Anderson their lead singer has now gone solo and here is his first single Love is Dead. What a voice!!!

I am just so farking envious!!! Liz has just been on a holiday to Cuba! What am I doing here in Singapore, stuck in this office.

"Contrary to what people think, Cuba is hardly the decrepit and dangerous place that the word "Communism" connotes. Yes, yes, you do get the abandoned factory buildings and remnants of "Revolucion!" painted in red in outdated style on walls, but the country has managed to sustain itself pretty well. I would know, because i myself stayed in one of those resorts by the beach run by the government for tourists, mostly catering to americans and canadians looking to escape the cold winter. Needless to say, i was a little disappointed to find that i had cable TV with CNN and Coca Cola and that it was not going to be the gungho holiday i had hoped for, filled with last minute revolutions and the Red Guards in my face.

Cuba was surprisingly idyllic. i was living on Santa Lucia beach next to Nuevitas Bay, 22km of beautiul white sands and turqoise blue crystal waters. it was the home of the 2nd largest coral reef after the Australian Great Barrier Reef and also home to the largest colony of pink Flamingos in Latin America. The closest thing i got to revolution was the mass of people gathered next to my resort for their daily fiesta. Booming reggaeton, reggaeton mixes of David Guetta's "Love dont let me go" and Cuban salsa was heard day and night, peaking at it's loudest at 4am."



Anyway here is a brilliant brilliant song by the New Radicals. This one's for you, Rongjie. Hope you get back bouncing soon. It may take some time, but you will get there. It's her loss.