I must be so tired. I came back home, stood outside the door, pressed the car remote, and tried to open the door. It didn't budge.

Went wakeboarding this morning or rather this afternoon. It was so fun. Although at first I almost gave up because I kept losing my balance. I think I am a slow learner initially, but once I get over the initial phase and catch up, I usually go faster than others(or so I think.)

I didn't dare straighten my arms for fear of dislocating my shoulder again. Well, the shoulder did come out on my third go, but it went back in as I fell into the water. (Kenny's shoulder came out too. So people with shoulder problems should not be put off trying, there is a way! ) We didn't give up and opting for another method whereby I locked my arms in an L, I was able after a couple of more tries to go around the circuit. It was so fun or should I say, uber fun. But also very tiring. My shoulder hurts now though.

I know now. Not that it is a big deal. I am rather pleased and surprised that I should feel so little if any. But it's been awhile and there are so many other(better?) girls out there. Well if any there is a tinge of indignation. The reason still stands doesn't it? and yet she was willing to go for it? And then on the other hand, you want her to be happy. Because she was special.

But no, I won't read anymore. For awhile at least. I am moving on.

How big is an Ostrich egg compared to a Chicken egg?

Dance Like No One's Watching
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life".

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, reassure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one... So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Had a good game of soccer this morning. NUS against NTU. Then to East Coast for rollerblading. I am ok now. I want to thank all my friends who have lent me their listening ear, given me advice, I really appreciate it; all the people who have tried to make me see the light, I am grateful. This morning I wanted to talk to her. But it's a different feeling. I am ok. Really.

Keane/Crystal Ball
who is the man i see
where i'm supposed to be?
i lost my heart, i buried it too deep
under the iron sea

oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
save us all, tell me life is beautiful
mirror, mirror on the wall

lines ever more unclear
i'm not sure i'm even here
the more i look the more i think that i'm
starting to disappear

Juanito Juanito, I love the sound of that name. Well, Spain is leading the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia by one goal and they need to score 2 more goals for me to win.

Spent Thursday helping to clean up the house, or rather the hall. Here is how it looks now and I am pleased with it since I picked the TV console. Earned 40 dollars today refereeing at the Police Academy. I was the linesman and since it was the veterans team, the pace was pretty relaxed and I had alot of time for thinking to myself.

Went for dinner with Wanxin at Bedok 85 hawker centre and the food was delicious. Finally tried the famous Ba Chor Mee and it really is quite good. C'mon Espana!!

I have learnt valuable lessons today, or should I say yesterday. Helping the blind and interacting with them, making friends, I have come to realise how blessed and fortunate I am. Too often we take for granted what we already have, our five senses; and hanker after other things, only to leave ourselves dissatisfied and hungry for more. Looking at people like Catherine, how they live on with optimism, making the best of their lives despite the card fate has dealt them; they are brave brave people, I am inspired. How much more so should we, normal people treasure our lives . I am thankful that I have been given the chance to help.

I was saddened to see that there was only one swing left. I gave the one remaining swing a go in the twilight.

"As we set off along the moonless streets, I felt that sadness that comes with dropping down from a height, leaving anything lofty."



Thanks Michelle, I got your postcard. Zion National Park looks beautiful.

With the World Cup in Germany,it seems my day only begins at 3pm nowadays. Around 5pm, we crossed the causeway to JB for crayfish and DVDs yesterday. Edmund, Winnie, P.P, Yiling and Wanxin were my partners in crime. Wanxin had the china-doll hair-cut which made her look like Go-Go from Kill Bill.

Edmund was adamant that we had to head for Crayfish immediately; his stomach was growling, however I took a wrong turn, and we had to weave throught the Kampongs but eventually we got there and the food was pretty good.

Then to Holiday Inn after it got dark for the DVDs. It's become harder for the bootleg sellers to conduct their businesses nowadays. In the past, they could display the titles out in the open on the first floor, and once we made selection they would get the discs from a secret room behind. Now it seems there are plainclothes officers patroling and the procedure becomes a little more complicated. The shops now displayed little more than movie posters and you would be asked whether you wanted DVDs. If you said yes, they would then send a guy who would lead you up to the 2nd floor, to a nondescript looking shop hidden out of view where they stored the DVDs where you could make your selections. The title selection was pretty good though. I got "Millions" for Wynne.

Going Wakeboarding later, but the sky doesn't seem like it likes the idea.

What a view. The city stretched across in the distance, I can see your house from here. We look out at the muted glows from the buildings of a city in repose. We make good conversation in an unlikely place. She says a breeze would be perfect. The feeling is surreal, like a scene that should be in a local movie, of heartland romance, with motorcycles and lost loves, hands clasped together on long bus rides you wish were longer and Jay Chou's Ge Qian in the background. A cheer goes up. Perhaps a goal has been scored. I would really want to bring you here.

Went down to the NUS Staff Club today for the Japan vs Australia game with David and Edmund. An unexpected gem of a place. Large 80 inch projection TV and comfortable couches - an exciting game was played out. The commentator strangely, was very keen to tell us about inflatable kangaroos. Japan gained the lead through a lucky goal by Nakamura, and looked on course to seal the victory. I was smiling and thinking about how to re-invest my expected 25 dollar winning when the Socceroos suddenly swept forward and banged in 3 goals in the last ten minutes to lift Brian Farrell off his feet and jumping. Remind me never to count my chickens before the eggs hatch. What happened to the Samurai Spirit??!!

The rain persists. Without the sun, there is a lack of colour. A gloomy day perfect for listening to Keane. I was quite surprised and a little bit touched that Wynne really came back from South Africa with an Ostrich egg for me!

With the rain falling down from a grey sky, it felt like Manhattan in winter.
I find it incredible that my friends can place such big bets on teams they have little knowledge of, teams they have never seen play. - Tortens Frings with a stunning 4th goal for Germany last night ensured that I won $25.

Deathcab for Cutie are so so so good! All of them. The Marching Bands of Manhattan, Soul Meets Body, Summer Skin, I'll Follow You into the Dark(you know I would) etc. The songs which remind me of a past grief, so comforting against the softness of the pillow. I feel transported back to a few months before, same sleeplessness, cold room, same CD, melodies which bring back the same feeling, only this time much less intense, a faint aching, sadness and regret? but this time so comforting somewhat like a good memory - acceptance?

Saturday Morning. Down to school to referee the game between NUS and Medicine Faculty. Won of course by NUS 5 goals without reply. 40 dollars. I felt like playing. I pause just to see her smile and it warms my heart. No prisoner. Freely following my feelings, my heart. Perspectives.

Lunch at West Coast Macs, and then to Queensway to buy a soccer ball for use in Sentosa. World Cup fever is starting to run high. 7 more days. Took the chance to look at World Cup Jerseys. I like the white Korea Jersey. Maybe I will save. Watched some Joga Bonita Videos too.

Sentosa has changed alot. They were holding something really pointless at Palawan Beach today. The Balloon Hat Parade. I can't believe anyone would think of something like this. From what I saw, it involved maybe half the secondary schools in Singapore. They were lined up the length of Palawan Beach on the sidewalks. A class size per school, the students blew up long twisty balloons and twisted them into colourful balloon hats which they wore on their heads.I could see some students who were clearly not amused. Most schools probably sent their school bands and they formed a ridiculous parade marching along wearing their hats and playing band instruments like trumpets, drums and clarinets.

Beach life. Not a cloud in the sky. Hot sand. Beach Soccer. Volleyball. Girls in Bikini. I couldn't believe how my friends can ogle at the girls and comment about them right in front of their girlfriends! KM8. Beach Chair. Lying down and staring at the azure sky. I feel at ease with myself, comfortable in my own skin, the most I have been in the last 6 years. I am me, assured. Shocked to hear about Tweety and Mavis. 8 years, all gone now because "lately we have grew apart." Makes me think. The sun sets and the turquoise waves turn a purple shade. I still care, and I will still care.

I used to be so happy.

Thought for the day:
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

Happy Birthday Shinyee!

Copeland - Brightest

If you find yourself here on my side of town
I'd pray that you'd come to my door
Talk to me like you don't know what we ever fought about
Cause I don't remember anymore
I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she said that I was the brightest little firefly in her jar

And I just know that she warms my heart
And knows what all my imperfections are
And she says that I am the brightest little firefly in her jar.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slow but think quick.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?".
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom.
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry a man you love to talk to. As you get older, his conversational skills will be as important as any other.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray -- there's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust a man who doesn't close his eyes when you kiss him.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.
41. Learn the rules then break some.
42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.